


four leaf clover

by selfcontrols



Series: scenarios [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Possessive Behavior, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:31:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfcontrols/pseuds/selfcontrols
Summary: looking back at your life choices you come to the conclusion that becoming friends with benefits with your childhood friend was not your brightest choice.





	four leaf clover

looking back at your life choices you come to the conclusion that becoming friends with benefits with your childhood friend was not your brightest choice.  
your relationship with taeyong had always been shaky, to say the least. you had your first kiss with him and spent your freshman and half of junior year with the biggest crush on him.   
but even as your best friend he always felt untouchable to your. always the popular guy, surrounded by people and girls that wanted a piece of him. even now, fucking him almost every weekend, you still felt like he was out of your reach but you couldn’t help yourself from acting like icarus trying to reach the sun.

“i get jealous  
when you don’t wanna see me around  
you say we’re friends and slow down (woo)  
i get jealous  
when other girls are calling your phone  
why won’t they leave you alone?”

it’s kind of pathetic, really. and cliche. having feelings for your friend with benefits. the number one rule on this kind of relationship, broken.  
you see him going around messing up with other girls, his phone buzzing with texts and you can’t help but feel jealous. of course, you do hook up with other guys too. occasionally. but is it fair that you go to sleep every night thinking of him and he probably only thinks of you when he’s horny.  
and you do try. you try your best to remember his words. “we are friends. just friends. this won’t ruin anything.” he said. but maybe, just maybe, you two were never only just friends to you

“cause i’m scared  
scared to commit to relationship   
or breaking our bond and our friendship   
i don’t wanna fuck this up   
no, no, no, these other girls are distractions   
i don’t really be taking no action   
so need to jump and bug”

it started in the most cliche way possible. a party, too many drinks to count, a whisper in your ear and his lips on yours, addictive. next thing you know you are in his bed, his head between your legs and your head wanting you to say that you shouldn’t be doing this, that it would ruin your friendship but all you could say was his name between moans.  
after that it was a just “one more time thing”, then an okay “this was the last time” thing, and soon he was proposing the deal you had now: no strings attached. he didn’t want a relationship, and you lied saying you didn’t want it either. it was so perfect, two friends with no feelings for each other just looking for casual sex.  
except it wasn’t.

“i get jealous  
when you don’t wanna give this a chance  
but then you wanna hold hands  
(what do you want?)  
i get jealous  
when you can move around how you please”

“come on, babe. tell me you didn’t do this.” he’s hovering over you and the look on his eyes make him look crazy. “please tell me you didn’t fuck jaehyun.”  
he had texted you 20 minutes ago telling you that he needed to see you. you told him to come over and here you were now, your back pressed against your door and him asking you about something that happened weeks ago.  
“i did. what’s the problem with me sleeping around?” you asked, trying to sound as angry as you were feeling “you can fuck half of the girls on campus but i can’t fuck some guy?”  
“i told you not to mess with my frat brothers.” he ran a hand trough his hair, breathing deeply. you honestly didn’t think he would be this mad about it. maybe not speaking to you for a few days but not looking like he was about to lose it.  
you tried to move away from him, but he kept you pinned to the wall. you looked at him with fire in your eyes. “you can’t tell me what to do, taeyong. you don’t own me. no one does.” you couldn’t keep your eyes from tearing up, confrontation always made you cry.  
and seeing you cry always made him weak. and seeing you cry because of him was even worst. “no, baby, don’t cry. i didn’t mean to make you sad, huh.” he leaned closer to press kisses on your faces, trying to wipe the tears. you should’ve pushed him away but you were oh so weak for him. “don’t cry. i just don’t want to look at jaehyun and have to think that he fucked my girl.”  
he called you that all the time. “his girl”. it was the worst for you. almost like a drug, the moment he said you were putty in his hand. he could do whatever he wanted to you and you would say please.  
“don’t call me that, asshole.” you said pouting and he laughed softly pecking your lips.   
“hmm my girl is so cute.” he kissed you again, and you could feel him smiling. you should’ve slapped him, pushed him away but you just kissed him back, his lips soft against yours and his hands caressing your waist under you t-shirt.

“hey, we’re meant to be, whoa  
one day you will see  
where o where is my four leaf clover?”

kissing him always made you feel like you belonged together. there was no way two people could fit so well without being meant to be.   
kissing him made you feel like you were floating, like the world had stopped and there was only you two orbiting around. you were flying too close to the sun, as always.

one simple kiss led to another, and then to tongues meeting and the next thing you know you are on your bed, his teeth on your neck and a moan on your lips. “please, tae.” you begged for nothing in particular, you just wanted more. more of him.   
“what do you want, baby?” his mouth was everywhere. your lips, your neck, your chest. you felt like exploding and he was just starting “tell me.”  
you didn’t want to give him the pleasure of knowing how desperate you were so you just kissed him again. his hands on your waist kept going lower and lower until they were under your skirt and he was feeling you trough your soaked panties. you let out a breathy moan and he chuckled. “is that all for me, angel?” you couldn’t help but blush, feelings his fingers dip inside your panties and spreading your wetness around. “bet jaehyun couldn’t get you this wet, huh? did you get all wet and good for him, baby?” his tone was angry now not the playful one he had when this started. “come on, yn, answer me.”  
he sounded so hot to you, the possessives in his tone made you feel like you were really his. you could feel yourself getting more wet and you clenched around nothing. he could feel it too, if the smirk on his face was anything to go by. “n-no he didn’t” you muttered, feeling your cheeks heat up “i only get this wet for you.”  
suddenly he was on you again, he crashed his lips to yours and started stroking your clit with a force that had you moaning around his mouth. “yeah. only i can make you feel this good.” he was kissing you like a madman, like he was dying and you were the last drop of water. “my girl.” you felt on cloud nine, like icarus must have felt when he reached the sun.   
but we all know what happened to icarus at the end.

“you only call me when you need  
me, i keep running to your feet  
boy i’m worthy but you treat me like i’m not”

it had been a week since you last saw him after the whole jaehyun thing and he only texted you once, asking you to come over because he was horny. you lied saying you had a big test coming. but the truth was you had gotten your hopes up. thinking it would finally become something more, that the things he said that night meant something and that the passion you felt wasn’t just something sexual.  
but you were wrong, of course. you were sure of it when you walked in the party you were right now with your friends and say him with a random blonde girl in his lap, his hands glued to her ass and his tongue probably down her throat.  
you suddenly felt like throwing up so you did the more rational thing to do, downed three shots of vodka and dragged your friend to find someone who had weed.  
you eventually found it, and with it a boy named yukhei. he looked a bit younger than you, maybe a freshman, and his sentences didn’t make sense sometimes but you were drunk so neither did yours.  
it takes you a feel hit to start feeling okay again and soon thoughts of taeyong are at the back of your mind. your laugh at something yukhei says, you lean into him, trying to be as flirt as you can while stoned. he seems  
to be getting the message because his eyes keep going to your moth and he’s closer to you by the second. he’s about to kiss you when you hear the devil’s voice and your world comes crashing down. “yukhei, man! what’s up?” tayeong says, a fake smile on his face and yukhei stands up to talk to him. you get to your feet too ready to tell taeyong to fuck the hell off but he’s faster then you and the last think you know you are by his side and he’s holding you waist with a grip that could hurt if he applied a bit more of strength.   
he calls you babe and kisses your cheek, you want to scream and hit him but you feel your surroundings spinning. you can see yukhei has a confused look on his face but you can’t clear things to him because taeyong is dragging you to outside of the party.

“and you don’t know how much i plea  
what did i do to make you mean  
say you don’t want to hurt my feelings but you are”

“what the fuck, taeyong!” the world has stopped spinning now and all you can see is red. you don’t think you have ever been this mas before. “who the fuck do you think you are? getting into my business like that? acting like i’m your property.” you are punching his chest but he’s acting like it’s nothing.  
he grabs your hands so you will stop hitting him and looks into your eyes with the same look he had that day. “i told you to not full around with my frat brothers.”  
“how was i supposed to know he was in your frat, asshole.” you were screaming but you didn’t even care by now “and who are you to try to control me? you are nothing to me.”  
he flinched at your words, it felt like you’re hitting him right in the face. he didn’t know what to say. but you did. “we are not even friends anymore. you treat me like some random girl you met at a party. you only call me when you want to fuck.” you spat, tears falling from your eyes but you didn’t even notice. you were so angry that you couldn’t stop now you had to let it all out. “i’m fucking tired of being treated like an object, like… like i mean nothing to you.”  
you pause for a minute, waiting to see if he’s going to say something but nothing comes out of his mouth. “and you can’t even say anything to me right now, you can’t look at me in the eye.” your voice is just a whisper now, you feel like your heart is going to rip off your chest, like the world is going to come crashing down on you.   
“yn…” he tries but you don’t want to listen to what he has to say. afraid you’ll be weak again and fall for his excuses.  
“i’m done, taeyong. i’m fucking done.” the tears don’t stop coming and you feel like you’re out of breath, your heart hearts so much but you have to do this. “i’m tired of being in love by myself.”  
he doesn’t take his eyes from the floor and you have the feeling he is crying but you don’t wait to see it for yourself.   
you run all the way to your house and he doesn’t bother coming behind you.   
he’s untouchable, you think to yourself. you can’t touch the sun and not burn.

“take me ‘cause i’ve been down down down down  
we need each other  
please use my number  
you see me  
i’ve been down down down down down down”

a week goes by, then another and next thing you know you haven’t seen or heard about taeyong for a month.  
your friends blocked his contact from your phone and they avoid bringing you to parties he’ll probably be at.  
you two have opposite majors so it’s almost impossible to see him around campus.  
it should be easy to forget him, to not miss his laugh and the way he looked at you. to not wish he would come to you and finally kiss you again. but it’s not easy at all.  
you cry for a whole week. then you stop crying and start drinking. then your grades start falling and you stop drinking and focus on studying. it keeps you busy and your grades have never looked better. you only think about him occasionally, but your heart aches every time.

“come on, yn. it’s just a party.” seulgi is currently trying to get you to attend a party with her because her crush will be there. you don’t want to go, of course. the chances of seeing him are always bigger at parties. “you haven’t gone to a  
party in ages.”

you close the book you are reading and glare at her, trying to shut her mouth with the power of your mind. “and i don’t plan on going to one so soon.”

“pleaseee. i can’t go alone.” you know the moment you two arrive at the party she’ll leave you alone but her puppy eyes are too much to say no to. “it’ll be fun.”

you say yes to her, of course and that’s why you’re now at a frat party. your first one in weeks and it’s not the least bit of fun. seulgi is nowhere to be found, of course, so you stay close to the door that leads to the pool, watching the people around you.   
you haven’t seen him yet and a part of you hopes you do. you wonder if he looks different, but again one month is not even that long of a time. jaehyun and yukhei are here which means he probably is too but you promise yourself you won’t keep looking for him.  
you stop your eyes from wandering and decide to get some air, it’ll do you good. you are so lost in thought that you don’t see him following you until you turn around and there he is, in all his glory.  
you feel like the air has left your lungs, like you can’t form a single word.   
“hey.” he says, comically shy. the tables have turned and the sun is now chasing icarus. “long time no see.”  
his hair is a different shade now, the bubblegum pink replaced by a fiery red so you tell him that. “you dyed you hair.”  
he laughs. not his full laugh you missed so much, but one that makes it sound almost like he’s uncomfortable. he tells you he got tired of the pink but he doesn’t tell you that everything about himself reminded him of you.   
none of you say anything for what feels like years. you have thousands of things to say, of course, but you still have your pride and it keeps your mouth shut.  
he seems to have lost his, after all because he opens his mouth a couple times trying to get the words out without sucess. and then “i missed you.” he’s telling the truth, you can tell because he’s pinches the bridge of his nose like he always does when he’s being sincere. you don’t say anything, can’t tell the man that broke your heart you missed him like a mad woman for the past month. you are not that weak anymore.   
“listen… i’m really sorry. like really sorry.” he’s telling the truth again and he doesn’t have to pinch his nose for you to know. he’s looking right into your eyes and they look as sincere as they could. “i tried to call and text but you never picked up.”  
“yeah sorry about that. the girls blocked your number.” he laughs softly, genuinely this time.”  
“i don’t blame them.” you missed his smile more than anything, and you let yourself slip and smile too. it seems to give him confidence because he continues to talk “it gave me a lot of time to think. about what to say when i finally say you again. i still don’t know what to really say, tho. “he laughs again. “i even wrote it down a couple of times but it didn’t feel genuine, i guess.”

“but what i’m trying to say, is that i’m really sorry. i fucking ruined our friendship because i was egoist. i wanted to have you but i didn’t want to commit.” he takes a few breaths and you think he’s going to cry but he doesn’t. you don’t know if you will manage the same “i knew you had feelings for me, i would be dumb if i didn’t. and i felt it too. what we had it was out of this world.”  
“taeyong…” your eyes are teary now and you don’t feel strong anymore you just want to hold him and for everything to be okay.  
“come on. don’t interrupt my heartfelt speech, yn.” tears mixed with laughter never looked this good on anyone “anyway, as we started seeing each other more felt like i could fall in love with you. and boy, i did i fell so hard it was like… like i was a fish out of water, not having a clue what to do. and i didn’t want our friendship to be over, i didn’t want us to fall apart. i was so scared that i had to distance myself.”  
you are closer to him now, gripping his sides and the tears keep falling from your eyes. he hates seeing you crying but he won’t take his eyes off you. “i was so dumb for doing that. i ended up letting the girl i love go.”  
you  
think your mind is tricking you and made you hear him saying he loves you, it couldn’t be. “the girl you love?” you whisper and he nods. he looks like a shy boy now, like he’s not a 21 years old but a 15 kid confessing to his crush for the first time.  
“ i don’t think i could ever stop loving y-“ he starts saying but you don’t let him finish. you kiss him and it feels like a thousand fireworks, like you are finally breathing.   
he breaks the kiss and hugs you so tight that it seems he thinks you’ll vanish. “i’m so sorry for being an asshole.”  
you laugh and kiss his cheek, you know you should be stronger than this, make him redeem himself but you just kiss him again. on his mouth, his nose, his forehead. “if you hurt me again i’ll chop your dick off, lee taeyong.”   
he laughs with his whole body and promises he won’t. the warmth of the sun never felt so good, you think to yourself, and you and lee taeyong can be untouchable together.

“i can see you’re lost  
come get your baby (baby)  
i don’t care the cost  
don’t need a friend, i wanna be your lady“


End file.
